If I had others to play with, I would. This is sort of the classic problem of platforms that treat users as single entities instead of a community. Sure, I am on Roll20! I should be having fun!
What do any of these platforms do to bring us together?
Most of them do nothing, focusing on digital sales to single users rather than saying "the first problem we have to solve" is the one of creating a social network that brings players together. None of these platforms address the underlying cause.
Also, we are in an age of massive social strife where games are not escapist entertainment anymore. Every side is trying to "stake out space" in gaming to support "their side" and "deny others the space" as some sort of "grab land" tactic in an outside fight. I will play alone to stay away from other people's politics and advocacy. Some people have elevated this to the point of becoming terrible, horrible, angry people.
When your life has been reduced to screaming into your phone in your car, you need to look in a mirror and ask yourself why. Likely, you are hurting your "cause" more than you are helping it. I don't doubt some of these videos are made to attack the same side they supposedly support, as they look that bad.
I will stay away from entire games since the game has been captured by one side or another. It is never about the game, it is all about holding worthless "digital ground" for some an external fight to deny access to others.
This is not gaming.
It is a sad reality to live in. I miss the 1980s so much. My whole group was outcast middle-school rejects, and we had an African-American kid, a gay kid in a track suit, an Indian kid, one with Rubik's Cube stickers on his Rush shirt, and a motley crew of losers and nerds. Nobody wanted us, but D&D did.
These days, D&D is in its 1990s aging pop-star phase and begging everyone to like them again, leaning far too hard on nostalgia, and it is just sad. I love you, but not like this. Leave me with my good memories, please. I don't even want the fantasy genre anymore, not how it exists currently, it feels damaging to people's mental health.
I would rather play a game where I can lose any character at any time and just accept the outcome, rather than build undying, invincible, pet characters that become alternate identities and make my life feel lesser in comparison. Identity marketing is incredibly toxic and hurts your sense of self-worth.
Super-heroic fantasy has been subsumed by marketing and Wall Street. It is a like a pyramid sales scheme, fluffing your ego and dipping too hard into escapism to get you buying more and locked into subscription services.
Even Daggerheart realizes character death is an important story element and needs to be reflected in a game that simulates adventure fiction and narrative arcs. While it is still a superheroic game, it is far more mature and grounded than D&D. Shadowdark has a wonderful attitude about character death and loss. It just happens, and you lose your "playing piece." Then, you create a new one.
I can't play D&D solo. It is pointless. It is turn-after-turn of repetitive combat, far too many rests, and an every increasing power level that leaves me bored. All of 5E has this problem.
Also, I enjoy games other people ignore. I find fun in other places, and love to explore worlds and universes that are far more developed and filled with lore and history than anything in the mainstream. I like that freedom to play a game and just "live in it" for a while. Not to create a "better me" but it is like watching a movie and experiencing another place and time for a while.
But I also play to experience what has come before. I pull in classic fantasy books and comics from the 1950s to the 1970s rekindle my imagination. I want things that inspired the genre before the genre, with no second (or later) generation sources. It is hard to do this with modern games, and many people just don't see the point of going back to classic horror comics and finding inspiration there for a game.
I build my games around my strongest sources of inspiration.
I play solo as a part of my hobby, not of gaming, but of self-discovery and a life devoted to learning and expanding my mind. My gaming is not a reflection of me, it is an outwards look into the larger world, through the eyes of the past and looking forward.
